10 Years old! How did you get to be 10 and I haven’t aged at all? My first born always makes me feel older every time he ages. He will always be the child that made me a mum, the child who is essentially a trial and error for the next children you have, the one you wrap in cotton wool constantly and wouldn’t dream of doing anything against the many parenting books.
Here is a letter to my first born: I was feeling strange at work one day 10 years ago and my colleague suggested a pregnancy test, I nipped to Asda in my lunch hour and then nipped into the toilets to take the test. At 18 I was pretty petrified, especially when there was a clear pregnancy line. I was going to be a mum, Omg! I rung my then boyfriend, we had been dating for 3 months and he didn’t even have a job – Shit what would my parents say. I went back to my colleague and told her in a blur of what was happening. Later that night I told your father he was going to be a dad by phonecall, there was no question about keeping you I had known I wanted to be a mum someday and I was grown up enough to handle it, or so I thought.
Your dad just accepted it and told me he loved me and that was that. We went to the doctors for the scan to find out how far along we were, I told grandma she was going to be a grandma who said we needed to move out, I had to inform your dads parents too as even though he lived with them the relationship was strained. So grandad came to our rescue and had a friend with a house to rent cheap that was partly furnished. I went to the job centre as much as I could to print out the jobs for your father and after a few interviews and weeks he found a steady job. So that was it we were both working, you were a tiny bean – A boy bean we found out at the 20 weeks scan and I thought a name that would be perfect was Bradley so that was that. Your due date of 30th august arrived but apparently you were so comfy in their you didn’t want to come out. My body did start contracting though and the 5 days that followed with a mum of contractions all over the place. After 5 days grandma made me a spaghetti Bolognese and then said she was taking us to hospital. They broke my waters and induced me but progress was slow and I only diluted 1cm every 2 hours or so. Eventually I couldn’t handle the pain so they tried epidural which failed on one side, after some miracle and 36 hours later on the Friday morning you were born at around 10am after all the drugs they could give a woman in childbirth. I suffered a small tear, a little price to pay for my beautiful 7lb 13oz boy. You were beautiful and you made me a mummy, Grandma held you next as you hadn’t just made me a mum you made her a grandma and she loved you. That day they let us come home, your uncle and grandad came to see us and great grandma came to take us home.
You were a dream as a baby through teething and through everything, you slept most nights, you were cuddly and never really caused many problems. Everyone loved you and you were so easy I ended up pregnant again 6 months later with your sister (but that’s a different story) The first child is always like a practise child of what to do and what not to do for the next children I believe so I feel I babied you longer than your sisters and brother.
Through the years growing up we have had issues with School, work, getting your own way and also many testing times but as I write this with tears in my eyes I couldn’t be more proud of the 10 year old and young boy you have become (This isn’t saying your perfect because a lot of the time you annoy the hell out of me) but your Kind, considerate, you put the effort into things you love to be a perfectionist, you try your best to help people, you can cook and fend for yourself well, you understand the value of money, your a fabulous swimming, your maths is outstanding and your Fortnight skills aren’t bad either.
Thanks for making me a mum – It was one of the happiest days of my life
All my love, Mum xxxx